Would anyone like to send a letter to Target?

Dear Target:

I do not frequent your stores. I find myself in one once or twice a year, perhaps. They seem nice enough, and the merchandise appears to be of fair quality. I am a simple man - the sort that seems nearly extinct in our land. I do not buy frivolous things; in fact, I rarely buy anything at all. To put it simply, I have no reason to enter your stores, and am thus unfamiliar with your normal operations or business philosophy.
However, while driving yesterday, I noticed a sign. This sign concerns you -it was on your building. It seems to have been there an intermediate length of time: it is not worn heavily, neither is it shining new. I would guess, then, that you do have knowledge of it, but I bring it to your attention nonetheless.

This sign left me somewhat muddled.
It said, without explanation, "Target: Greatland." Fortunately my sister, one of your more frequent visitors, was riding with me and quickly provided me with lucidity.
She said it simply indicated that that particular store was a large one, with greater variety in merchandise. She likened it to a "Super Wal-Mart".

However, I would like to bring to your attention the following: "Super Wal-Mart" indicates exactly what the store is. "Wal-Mart" is short for Walton's Mart - Walton being the name of the founder, and "mart" being another word for market. "Super" indicates surpassing excellence or degree, so from "Super Wal-Mart", one would expect not only the normal services and goods your esteemed competitor provides, but also additional ones not regularly available. It is a Wal-Mart, only more so, or better.

The name of your store is a problem in itself, though I can understand why it was chosen. I would speculate it was meant to indicate that your store is a shopper's target - exactly what they should hit in their meandering path. Shoppers are rather like bees, in a way: without any clear sense of direction, but attracted to the wild gesturings of their peers and to bright colors or scents. You are aware of this, I am certain - one of your many ads did liken your symbol to a sunflower. This is all reasonable enough, though perhaps I should want to name the establishment something less martial - especially in these troubled times.
But the name of your business, combined with the supposed descriptor, "Greatland", is greatly confusing. Firstly, "Greatland" is reminiscent of Russian naming schemes. This, together with other recent developments such as the Homeland Security office, surely do not put the minds of our fellow citizens at ease. "Greatland" is not a genuine word of the language we commonly speak; I have never once heard a single utterance of it. Further, "Target: Greatland" sounds precisely like the title for a thriller, or for a spy novel.

But, if these issues do not concern you, at least consider this: the descriptor, "Greatland", does not actually describe what your business does. If one were to ask, "how does this Target differ from the others?," the only reasonable reply would be that it is situated in a great land. I have no argument that this land is exceedingly great; however, not all of your stores have this moniker. Am I to assume that only some of the land is great, while the rest is suboptimal? Is this an open display of discrimination towards unfavorable locations? Customers, I think, do not like to be told their neighborhood is less appealing than others. I only note that if one store in this country carries that particular moniker, it would be only fair and sensible for the others to be thusly named. The alternate would indicate a suboptimal situation, or, perhaps, that the stores without that appellation are situated in a different country. This is one nation, and if you are referring to our ancient and bloodily contested British ownership, or to our being only a part of the world, I am greatly offended.

All I desire, if I must make it known in such straightforward terms, is for your business to find a name that informs the potential customer, such as myself, as to what can be expected. "Target: Greatland", as I have spent some little effort demonstrating, does no such thing.
I write this petition in solicitation of your time and a suitable explanation, or, better yet, a change. I am anxious to hear your reply.