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"I can't make it today." I wondered if he'd believe me. My voice was shaking.
"Oh. Alright then, guess I'll see you later." I'm sure he didn't really believe that. He didn't seem convinced we'd meet again. We hadn't for a while.

I can't make it today, because...I have to pet the cat.
No! It's not an excuse, or I would have said it! I would say that to someone I never wanted to see again, and...I do care about my friends. But they have to understand - priorities are priorities. If they were in my shoes, I'd want them to do the same. But they aren't, and they couldn't. Anyone could do what I'm doing, but no one else can do it right.

This started a few weeks ago. I noticed, on my daily walk, that the air didn't seem right. It seemed...fuzzy, almost. And lots of people were sick. Everything buzzed, and my ears never had any rest. I couldn't sleep. I think there was an earthquake, too. But what could I do? That's the way of the world.

I've been going to these classes, you know, to improve myself. To gain 'higher understanding' and 'self-enlightenment' and good health and all that. It seems like a good idea; I know this one guy, Barry, and he lost a lot of weight, got promoted, things like that; it's really helped him out. So I thought I'd do the same, except I'm not going where he's going - I don't want to look like a follower. No! "We all must act like leaders, and then we will be leaders!" I learned that in class.

So my teacher was talking about the AUM yesterday. He says it's this sound that the universe and everything is made out of. It's a vibration! And anyone can make it. It's pretty neat, I guess. We practiced for a while.

I didn't realize until later, but, after we chanted, the world seemed less fuzzy. It wasn't shaking so much.
Actually I didn't notice until I got home. My cat was sitting on my favorite chair again, since it is his favorite too. I don't like to make him move, so I pet him until he gets so happy he has to get up. It's pretty clever. He always falls for it. Anyway, while I was petting him, he started purring like always.
But it was the AUM! I know it.
Yes, while I was petting him, the world became peaceful, and the fuzziness was almost gone. Oh great hairy vibration-machine!
So I sat in my chair, petting my cat all evening. I was creating world peace!

In the nighttime, no one petted the cat, so he wasn't purring when I woke up. That's pretty normal, except the shaking had gotten much worse, and that wasn't normal. I was afraid the roof would fall on me. I could hardly get out of bed. Someone wasn't doing their job! I decided then it was because not enough people were saying AUM.
Luckily for me, my cat always jumps onto my bed when I wake up. He's happy to see me, and so I always pet him. I did the same thing as always, and the shaking stopped!

That's when I realized that cats make the AUM when they purr. I'm pretty sure it's just because of them that the world doesn't shake itself apart, because I know people are pretty lazy and they don't say it much.
I'm kind of worried. I think if I stop petting my cat, things are going to get bad.

I tried calling my best friend, 'cause he has a cat, and I tried telling him to pet it, but he was at work. He said it was pretty strange I wanted him to do that.

Actually, I'm getting really worried. I didn't say it before, but my cat seems bored. I think he doesn't want to purr anymore. He keeps wiggling.
Oh no! His tail is twitching! And he isn't purring at all! Things are getting fuzzy again...

"Ow! Stupid cat! You were saving the universe! Why did you have to claw me?" I'm gonna run after it. I have to catch it. It's my cat, and he's going to have to save the world whether he likes it or not. I can't believe how selfish cats are.

"Hey! Come back!" It got outside. I caught it, but it scratched me a lot. I don't think that's very fair. I dropped it cause it tore my shirt up pretty good, and now I'm bleeding a little. It hurts. It's hard to chase cats when everything is shaky.

My yard is empty. My street is empty. The whole neighborhood is empty. My cat is gone. I'm worried that bad things are going to happen - really bad things. I can hear buzzing again.
- wait. I think I see....
Yes! It's a cat! Not mine, but it'll do!

Just have to sneak up on it...it's a nice kitty...
"Haah! Gotcha!" Ow! OW! Crap. I forgot they have claws, again.
Alright, it didn't run too far.

It got away again.

"Haah! Gotcha!" Alright, it's really angry, but I got its legs this time. I'll just pet it until it starts purring, and everything will be right again. I think I felt an earthquake.

This isn't working. Ok, I think I know where to pet it that'll make it happy...

My neighbor? Wait, with a -
"Get the hell off my lawn! I don't want to know what you're doing with my cat." He cocks his shotgun. "But you're done now. You're gonna leave it alone. Or else."

"Oh crap oh sorry sir i'm just trying to save the world since you have to pet cats and the vibrations keep everything good and it wouldn't purr and my -"
"NOW! LEAVE!" He swings the barrel my direction.

I'm laying on the lawn. I think I fell. The cat is gone. My neighbor is purple, almost.
I think the world is shaking apart. I just can't stand up. Well, my legs are shaking pretty bad, too.

"It's not what it looks like! I was just trying to save the world!"
My neighbor only shakes his head. "That's what they said in the war, too."